Many of the changes are likely linked to the rising cost of living (soz to bring it up again), which has left many of us feeling anxious, or stressed, around our finances, or around others. In fact, 30% of 18-34 year olds were found to be conscious of their date budget when suggesting a place for a date and one in five (21%) 18-34 year olds are more likely to set a budget for themselves. On a date rather than the beginning of the year.
And the good news? We’ve proven that some of our best dates are enjoying a beer and sharing a packet of crisps in a park somewhere, or, when we’re in the midst of lockdown, hanging out with someone, cheap dates are sometimes. the best. Plus, let’s face it, if the person you’re going on a date with is mind-numbingly boring or talks a lot about crypto, it’s unlikely that a super-fancy dinner or flashy cocktail bar will sweeten the pill.
The big question is, how do we start the conversation around money? Well, you’re in luck, because financial expert Alice Tapper of the popular social media platform, Go Fund Yourself, shares her top tips on how to talk about money with your date.
“This newfound transparency in financial relationships among young people likely stems from the difficult times they currently face with the cost of living,” she says. A very positive space, I think that’s a positive thing in itself, because it shows that people are choosing to date on their terms, and according to their budget.”
“Daters should feel comfortable talking about finances, because at the end of the day, most people don’t have unlimited financial resources to burn on dates—so why not be more open about it? Not only that, but being more open about your budget can ultimately lead to a better dating experience.” , because you will feel less pressure to spend beyond your means”.
We agree, please tell us how to…
How to Suggest a Low-Key First Date
Being 10 minutes into a three-course dinner and realizing there’s zero vibe is an expensive but avoidable situation. Save yourself the pain of having to think up an elaborate excuse in the loo (your partner isn’t bound to suddenly contract a tropical virus…) and kick things off with a short and simple low-key date. A walk in the park on a sunny Saturday, a quick coffee. You get the idea. Bumble’s interest badges are a great way to learn more about what makes a person tick, so look for these on your date’s profile and use them as inspiration to suggest your low-key date activity.
How to suggest splitting the bill
This is a controversial one, but in my opinion, no one should pick up the full tab unless they really, really want to. Times are tough and thankfully we are moving beyond gendered expectations of who pays for what. While payment can be a kind gesture, it often creates helpless expectations and pressure. Especially on the first date, ‘Are we going to break up?’ In fact, research from Bumble shows a quarter (25%) of Gen Z and millennials believe you should split date costs because you and your date have different salaries.
How to find out if you’re on the same page about finances
So, how do you work out someone’s values when it comes to finances? Having an open conversation about money and earning with your date – also known as ‘cash-candid dating’ according to Bumble, are good places to start. On a first date, you ask ‘Is work important to you or a means to an end?’ Can you start things off with questions like? Down the line, you can get into big conversations about how they prioritize saving and paying off debt. Remember, there are no right answers – it’s just about what your values are and whether they align.
And remember…values over assets
Finally, while we’ve all heard the advice that it’s important to find someone with the same values as you, remember that financial values are a ‘thing’. We’re all guilty of making judgments about a date, but what someone earns is only half the story – while it’s okay to want financial stability, someone’s behavior and value around money is more important than what they earn.